A popular saying goes, “Marriage involves three rings: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. ” If it is commonly felt that marriage is so difficult, why do most people wish to get married? Probably, the instinct to find a mate is inherent in human beings; and I am no exception. Somehow, I believe that there is someone out there who was made especially for me, and, once I find her, we will fall in love, and get married; and only then will I feel complete. So, how will I recognize the right girl for me?
What qualities should I be looking for? It is very important to have a person you can always rely on. I want my wife to be this person. She would be tightly connected with my life. I want to wake up by her tender kiss. The first thing I would see would be her smiling face. She would make breakfast for us. We would call each other from time to time all day. In the evening I want to have dinner with her, cooked by her, and fall asleep holding my arms around her. First of all, my future wife should be my best friend. I want to share all my troubles, sorrows and dreams with her.
She would never let me down and I could always rely on her. Secondly, I want my wife to be my partner. Everything would be common for us: our children, our house, our money, and duties. And we would have to make important decisions together. They should be sensible and reasonable. Also, we should trust each other. Next, I want to have a good mother for my future children. She should be warm-hearted, gentle, understanding, and sometimes strict with them because a mother plays more important role in bringing up children than a man does.
I wish my children were worthy members of modern society. Then, my wife should be an elegant and good-looking woman. I want her to have smartness and beauty combined. Nowadays it is quite difficult to find a girl who is smart and beautiful at the same time but I will do my best to find her. Character is more important than looks. I cannot deny that I am attracted to good-looking girls, but marrying solely for physical attraction will probably lead to short term pleasure but life-long regret. I have also noticed that beautiful women are often vain and rrogant, which I find most unattractive.
One of the main things that I admire in a woman is humility. Such a woman will not boast about her wealth, intelligence or achievements, but, instead, appreciate other people’s abilities and achievements. She will also readily admit when she has made a mistake. Such a woman would be a joy to live with. Good communication is the key to any solid relationship, most of all, marriage. I would want my future wife to share her thoughts with me. I want to hear her dreams and to share in her struggles.
On the other hand, I will also need someone who will be ready to listen to me, and interested to know what is happening in my life. There should be no secrets between us. Life is full of challenges. We can expect to face failure as well as success; heartache as well as joy; boredom as well as excitement. So, the perfect wife should have a positive attitude and a good sense of humor. She should be witty and say things which make me laugh. The perfect wife would also be one who can see the silver lining behind every cloud, rather than focus on the flaws in every situation.
With such a woman, I will be encouraged to look at life in a happier and more positive way. Above all other qualities, the perfect wife will be faithful. She must be someone who really believes in that marriage is made to last “till death do us part”. She will be totally committed to our relationship, and willing to stay for the long haul, “in sickness and in health, for better or for worse”; as couples promise in the wedding vows. The perfect wife would not be distracted by other men; not even when I have lost my looks. He would be a “one-man woman”.
In return, I will also promise my total loyalty and faithfulness to my future wife. Actually, there are many other qualities that make a woman an ideal wife. However, while it is easy to make lists, finding a woman to live up to them will be very difficult. Furthermore, instead of focusing on my requirements for the perfect wife, I think I should recognize my own imperfections, and set about correcting them. As Barnett Brickner said, “Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ”
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