Storge and Eros Love
There can be love or no love in marriages. When love is there, it can come in different types. For the purposes of this paper, two families will be focused on the premises of how they exemplify storge and eros types of love. Storge type of love according to Chen & Wu (2017) is love that places more emphasis on the component of emotional involvement and friendship. As such, storge love contributes to relationship satisfaction. Storge love is familial love that come naturally or through instinct for being member of a given family. When it comes to two married partners, it is what remains after the initial infatuation is gone. Loss of storge love can be tragic due to the kind of trust and emotional investment that often characterizes this kind of love. Giebel & Elbert (2014) have examined eros type of love and have depicted it as a strong physical and sensual intimacy between husband and wife. In Christian literature, this kind of love should be enjoyed to the maximum in a marriage set up especially due to its nature of being physical, romantic, and its culmination to a sexual relationship. It is very conspicuous in newlyweds.
In the first type of love to be considered in this paper, the family of Mr. and Mrs. Smith will be zeroed in. The family is strongly held together by the Storge type of love. To get a perspective of how storge has taken control of this family, consider that Mr. and Mrs. Smith were married during that time when our country was rocked in the oil embargo, yes, in 1973. That is a whopping 45 years of marriage that has been blessed with four children. As expected, the infatuation of newlyweds, went away a long time ago. Mr. and Mrs. Smith have managed to love each other and they are the best of friends especially because they are both retirees. Their children, who are adults now are pretty very much in love with each other and they constantly call each other and come to the aid of each of them if need be, their different careers notwithstanding. You should see them when one of them is sick. During family gatherings, especially during major holidays, the whole family congregates at their home where all the four children were born and bred. It is the best union of friends who are at first family held together by Storge type of love.
The other family is that of Mr. and Mrs Smith Jr. Smith Jr. is the last borne child of Mr. and Mrs. Smith discussed above. These two families are different, age wise and in the type of love that holds them. Having been married during the last summer, Mr. and Mrs Smith Jr. are the best description of eros type of love. They are in what they call in movies ‘being madly in love’. Yes, their physical, and romantic love is too strong such that they both cannot start a day without seeing each other, despite the distance. Yes, they must video call in the morning especially because Mr. Smith Jr. works for an oil company and is thus a frequent traveler. Their videos calls are a hallmark of affection. They both want to be in each other’s arms constantly, but nature and the economy have other plans for them.
If I were to marry, I would want to experience the eros type of love. This type of love is intense and it fades away with time to leave the storge type of love. I would not mind being suffocated by eros type of love for a few years if not decades but it is unfortunate that this kind of love cannot be sustained for long periods of time. I would feel betrayed by nature for denying me the chance to be crazy about someone who was a stranger a few months ago. Though Djikic & Oatley (2004) warn prospecting lovers to differentiate between ideal and real love as this would save them a heartache especially when the dust settles, but in my case, until that happens, I would like to cherish the fiery feeling when it lasts.
Chen, W. W., & Wu, C. W. (2017). Transmission of ideas about love: Filial piety, love attitudes, and romantic satisfaction. Personal Relationships, 24(2), 440-452.
Djikic, M., & Oatley, K. (2004). Love and personal relationships: Navigating on the border between the ideal and the real. Journal for the Theory of Social Behaviour, 34(2), 199-209.
Giebel, G., & Elbert, T. (2014). The perception of a Woman’s Love in a relationship with a prisoner is erotic and altruistic. Journal of Forensic Science & Criminology, 1(4).